Thursday, November 19, 2015

We are such selfish creatures. Our wishlist never ends, we are never really satisfed.

Saturday, November 14, 2015

Scenes from Fort Kochi - 1

A boy turns his bicycle near the cobblestoned pavement in front of the police station. His face lit up when the cycle and he started to rattle when he pedalled on the cobblestones.

Friday, November 13, 2015

Sometimes I think that being mature is the best way to handle various incidences in life. Maybe, it is the best way to do so with everything in life, but we are stubborn and silly most of the times. But when being mature, its not always easy, cause there might be emotions attached with it.

Yes, I am writing regularly these days, as I need an outlet for my thoughts. Guess, I have been doing that since when I started this space, more so, I am being frank here more often these days. As i said before, i need an outlet for my thoughts and i am not a big fan of facebook. I was contemplating of coming out of that space, but i am rarely active there, so i guess it's ok to stay there.

I have begun to miss Bengaluru more often than not. I am keen to shift base back to Bengaluru. Guess bad luck's on me and nothing's happening on that front. There's a desperation that creeps into me at times, which makes me say that i just want an 'ok' job in Bengaluru. At times, the desperation grows into anxiety. I think that i have had enough of being away from home. I want to reach home after I leave office for the day. I wish to roam in Basavanagudi and Jayanagar whenever i want to. I so want that.

Sunday, October 25, 2015

Something happened yesterday and I had to depend on a third person for my safety. I dislike such instances where my vulnerability is evident. The vulnerability arises because I'm a woman. I'm okay being vulnerable, but only to people whom I am comfortable with. Apart from family, there are very few with whom I am vulnerable with, and I'm ok with that. In fact, i feel happy that there are some people concerned about me. But yesterday was certainly not to my liking. Is it so difficult to be a woman? Why can't a woman be looked upon as an individual first, and then a woman. Of course, there are times, when the feminity of a woman comes ahead of the individual, but that's hardly most of the time.

I read a piece by a woman writer today on rape of a girl kid. I also read something on how Srinagar's water bodies are disappearing due to rapid urbanisation. I was annoyed and irritated.

Is it so bloody difficult for us to respect the other sex, is it so bloody difficult for our men to understand that women are more than weaklings than they are made to be. Guess it is so. I use the public transport in Delhi, and i have heard people use the m********d and b*******d word on the road. It is appalling that people of different age groups, all male use the word, maybe, as part of their daily vocabulary. I don't know the equivalent words in Kannada, I have not come across them on the streets of Bangalore. Maybe, I was leading a protected life there, without my knowledge.

Maybe, when I say that I want to be looked upon as an individual first, and them as a woman, I am asking for the sky. I doubt if society is capable of it.

Thursday, October 15, 2015

I was in meeting all day today. Initially it was ok, but as the day worn on, started being restless. Got a notepad and a pencil from a friend and was sketching different people's backs for passing time. As usual the back-portraits that I sketched were bad. When I was learning drawing, as much as I wanted to do good portrait sketches, I couldn't. I don't remember if I did spend considerable time learning it. Guess, I was disappointed at not making headways and began to try out other media like watercolours.

I developed a fondness towards watercolours when I was attending painting classes at a place in Basavanagudi. And started improving my techniques. I wish I can paint watercolours. You might have already read a couple of times here.

Now, coming to what happened at today's meeting. Did a few sketches. Then I went on to show the paintings I have here to a few friends sitting beside me. When I was doing this, people sitting behind me also had a peek on my phone.

What I am will say further is completely on another topic. I was reading something on the the Indian President's current visit to Israel and Palestine. And i also tried to read on Syria. But the cellular network inside the room where the meeting was held was so poor, that my plan of catching up on my reading went for a toss.

Would it be very superficial if I said that the kind of life that a person leads is a factor of where he is born and is something over which he has no control over? Actually, when one ponders on it, a human being is born who develops an identity and a character as she/ grows into a person. People have no control over their birth, as it is humans that are born and not people.

Sunday, August 30, 2015

on what I have been doing

Yes I am writing less these days. I totally forget about my blog for weeks together. And then one day, it occurs to me that I have a blog, and then i think of looking it up. Since the past few weeks, I have been thinking of looking my blog up, and today it was.

I have been reading more. I read more current affairs since more than a year now. I am also trying to understand economics. When I want to read I try to look for unbiased media which i think are very few. I avoid CNN and the US media which screams bias even through their headlines. I would say that the British media is better.

A week ago, I read on the farmer suicides in Karnataka. My eyes welled after reading a particular piece. After a couple of days, I was talking about caste-based reservations at work. The backdrop was the Patel community agitation in Gujarat. And the person with whom I was talking to was surprised when I said I support caste-based reservations and it has to be moderated in the light of misuse. I am of the view, that the forward classes of the society who do not have sufficient economic means should have some sort of reservations where the system can help them. The same day somebody posted a tired joke of how easy exam questions are for the reserved classes when compared to the general. I flared up a little and expressed my displeasure on the biased joke.

Having said all this, when we have an equal society where my education and my job prospects are at stake, in all probabilities, I will turn a hypocrite.

Saturday, May 23, 2015

Over the last few weeks, i've needed an outlet for my thoughts. I could have done it on Facebook, but i'm not comfortable there, sharing my thought with all and sundry there. Not that i have all and sundry there, i am particular about what i do there. In fact, this space is all the more accessible for people from across the world, considering i have some people reading here.

Even, if i do post here, i will not be able to do it frequently. But there will be an outlet for my thoughts and the very idea of it is satisfying.

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Yes, it's been about 2 months that i've written here. I was thinking about closing my blog, shutting it down as i don't post often. But on second thought, i think it's ok to post rarely, assuming that somebody reads it. And i wouldn't want to delete something that's been there for more than 6 years or so.

I have been thinking about this. I think live-in relationships are totally fine. The basic necessity of a marriage is companionship and the blind trust that the spouse will remain faithful that a marriage 'calls for'. It's the same blind trust that works in a live-in relationship too. A marriage simply 'authenticates' a live-in relationship which is not really necessary. But, is the authentication required when we have a society which is rigid. And as i like to put, a society is 'not exactly essential' and 'am not bothered by it'.

When i call the society around me 'not exactly essential', then another question poses itself before me. Having human societies for centuries and centuries, it's always been there. I guess, one of the factors aiding the evolution of mankind has been establishing societies. I recollect having read about it during school and it makes sense to me now as well. Hence, i can't really say that the society around me is 'not exactly essential'.

I'm not sure if there is a line that i can draw between the society and me, and if at all there is any possibility at all. Moreover, when an elderly lady in the neighborhood asks about me when she hasn't seen me around, i don't think i can at all. It's just varied opinions.

Saturday, August 30, 2014

One song which i particularly like is Panchtund Narrundamaldhar from the Marathi movie Balgandharva. In fact all the songs from this movie are good, but i particularly like this one. The music, chorus and the solo bits are fabulous. In fact i think the movie can be described as a musical and describes his life focusing more on music that was perhaps his life. The actor who's played the character of Balgandharva does a pretty good job at it. It's not altogether a 'happy' watch meaning the movie is not all about nice incidents all the way through. It's worth a watch and the movie ends with you reminiscing about it.

It's definitely a treat for all traditional music lovers.

Sunday, August 24, 2014

It's been quite some time since i posted here. I was busy at work. And during that i lost my phone. I was just starting to like Delhi but then, losing-the-phone incident make me look at everything in Delhi suspiciously.

I didn't do anything much except work. And since the past couple of weekends, have been getting back to now what weekends actually are. The extreme summer in Delhi didn't help either. It does not even now, with the temperatures outside hovering around 40 degrees. I guess during summer, all i can do is talk about Delhi's heat. Due to which, my exploration of Delhi has come to a complete halt.

It's sad but i haven't seen half of the highlights of Delhi, because of the heat again.