My father has five siblings (there's more to it, but that's complicated, so let's keep to this number). And the financial conditions in the house during their growing-up years was not very good. They had a lot of difficulties. Most of the people that i know of his generation had similar situations, a large brood of children and an unstable financial condition. I still don't understand why, even after my parents and i have talked about this a few times. Yes, more children translates to more pairs of hands, more people at work and hence more money inflow into the house. However, doesn't it also mean more mouths to feed which is a tough task with insufficient money at hand? Not mentioning, sex being a taboo subject.

These days, folks of my generation are happy with a single kid. With increasing costs-of-living and the kind of money kids' require nowadays, they don't tend to think beyond two children.

There is another reason why people have more children. In the previous generation and in mine too. They don't stop reproducing (doesn't sound crude, right?) until a boy is born. We have a line of girls and then a boy.

I'm here after reading Shakri's post on Gabriel Garcia Marquez, specifically his book - Love in the Time of Cholera.

I've tried reading two of his books - Love in the Time of Cholera and One Hundred Years of Solitude, but couldn't really get beyond reading the first few pages. Another book that i read some years ago was The Museum of Innocence by Orhan Pamuk. I had heard about a book of his (can't recollect the title now) which made me read this book. I remember, i simply egged myself to read till the last page even though i didn't find it interesting.

The reason why i'm writing about these two writers is that i think they are way too intellectual and abstract for me to comprehend. That said, i still wish to pick that copy of  One Hundred Years of Solitude that's there at home and read it till the end. I so doubt this.

About movies again.

Zindagi Milegi Na Dobara is a uber cool movie. Everything about it is nice, but the whole goodness of the movie is not rooted enough. To go on a road-trip to come to terms with our faults and to live the present moment, is hardly applicable in most of our lives. I can't stop thinking about what's there in the future, especially when things are anything but definite. How can i, when there are so many things weighing it?

I hardly see Kannada movies. This is quite sad, i agree but the movies that are made in Kannada cinema is mostly depressive. Except for very few people who do okish to good cinema, there is really nothing much which makes a Kannadiga go to see Kannada movies in the theatres.

These days, I've been seeing a lot of Marathi movies. They are much better than the Kannada ones. Wish things could turn around and we could see something better.

This occurred to me a couple of weeks ago. That week i think i had a lot of work at my workplace. Otherwise i wouldn't have come up with such a phrase. Since then, i remember this phrase often and wanted to write a post with the same title. But thankfully, i've never felt so dead since then.

The phrase is 'smells of tiredness'. It's been quite some time (two years or so) since i titled my posts. Somehow, this is my head, and some times, i really want to write something under this. Maybe some day.

Of the few places that i've visited in India, i'd like to revisit some. That would be Darjeeling, i don't how commercialized it is now, but when we visited the place, it was the best then. Mumbai, i can't figure out the reason why, i liked this city a lot. After Bengaluru, the other city that i really like in India is this one, there is something fascinating there (i don't remember much of Delhi, maybe if did recollect much of our travel there, then perhaps, i would change my opinion on Mumbai). And some place in the mountains. Of course, the closest one to us are the Western Ghats. I've mentioned this in my earlier posts as well. The magic of the hills is at it's peak during the Monsoons.

Well, there are some places where i've not been, but would love to go there. Dandeli, have heard some amazing stuff of this region. I was jealous of my sister when she went there. Nainital, Mussorie, Dehradun, again hill stations in the Himalayas. A few lesser known areas in the country, don't know where exactly, but yes.

Why is it so bloody difficult for a woman to live alone? More so if she has a kid? Out of a marriage, that's the limit, i guess. I am reseeing Anavarana which is there on YouTube, thanks to the efforts of a kind soul.

If everything is to be looked from a male's perspective, what is the point in looking at it at all. A girl/woman has to dress this way, she shouldn't speak in front of others, moreso if there are men around, not in high tones, the men are served first, they are to be addressed in plural most times, the kid takes the father's name, in a marriage the boy is mostly older than the girl and many other things; i dislike most of it, if not all.

I understand a society is somewhat necessary for us, since we are evolved and all that. But with such a society, i have doubts on it.

Some times i think that i've lost the ability to converse with people. When i meet friends or acquaintances, i'm at a loss for words. I don't know what to say. I simply hope some though flashes and we get on speaking with it. It's not a good situation to be in.

I've seen and see kids grow up (and will see all through my life). It's important to bring them up in the right manner in a suitable environment. Giving birth to them is not a big deal. It's essential to bring them up properly.

Having lived here for more than a year and a half, i've learned a little of German (/western) lifestyle. i don't like all of it, but there are some things i kinda appreciate. And i also like some (i don't know, how much) of the Indianness that i've been exposed to all through my life.

It's not easy to take in those aspects that one find good from two cultures which are very different from each other. To find common ground, or rather to bridge things between the two is quite difficult i would say.