Sunday, February 07, 2016

I have been busy with work lately. Have been reading and writing quite a lot at work, that even though I wanted to write for myself, I couldn't. My reading also has come down.

Yesterday when I was at a neighbourhood park, I overheard a girl telling another not to overreact. Then I thought, maybe the vocabulary of today's children is more vibrant than ours. I should get used to it.

On the other hand, I am waiting to return to Bengaluru for good in the next few months. I really want to shift my base. Nothing's turned out yet, and I am trying not to get very anxious from being anxious already. I really hope and I really want to.

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

I was in a nearby park in the evening today where I interacted with a school-going boy who was there with a friend. The boy with whom I was talking was talking a little gibberish and then I missed Mysore.

My friends also spoke gibberish and do so even to this day. And now, when I am in the north and my friends down south, I miss such talk, although it does not make much sense. Its just a couple of people yapping away. It makes you feel glad.

I miss writing. The last weekend, I was at the Sangeet Natak Akademi and listened to some beautiful music on the shehnai. It was soothing. Also saw a nice Kannada play. There was a festival going on where they had invited artists from across the country.

This is not connected to what is there above. I saw that there are a couple of spelling errors in the earlier posts. Sorry for that. Will try to key things correctly hence forth.

Saturday, January 09, 2016

So, the last post was indeed the last one for the last year. Wanted to write something else before the year ended.

As I mentioned, I saw the movie - Lakshmi. It was the first such movie without tearing up, some scenes are pretty poignant. Maybe I saw it alone, that's why. Maybe, I can watch such movies without getting agitated or emotional. I want to be emotionally strong when a situation requires it. That said I don't want be harsh either.

Hope this year brings new and nice things to you all!!

Friday, December 25, 2015

Maybe this is the last post for this year. I have been wanting to say something here for the past few days, but today, I guess is a day. Random thoughts.

Its been four years since S passed on. There are times when I remember him multiple times in a day, guess that's how the mind works. There are times when I am so much into my routine, that I don't remember him at all. I guess, that's how its going to be. Maybe my thoughts on him will get less frequent, as I interact with other people. Guess, that's how things are in our lives.

Saw Lakshmi today. Its a movie on women trafficking and prostitution. The story is, maybe repeated a few times, but some scenes are very good, those might be dramatic which go to a further extent. The movie also has songs, which frankly were not necessary in the plot. That said, my judgement of movies is not exactly good, so, on seeing it, you might find it dramatic.

Saturday, December 12, 2015

I think that all my posts since the last few years should be labelled 'random'. As most are indeed random stuff.

As i have cupped my left palm on my nose, I can smell the mild fragrance of the soap that I use to wash my hand. To breathe in the fragrance again, I bring my palm close to my nose repeatedly, until the mild fragrance is worn out. As I am keying the words in, I have titled my head a little to the right, and my loose hair touches my cheek.

It is winter and Delhi is getting cold. But, it is also the time when the sun is not scorching and you go around in Delhi.

Thursday, November 19, 2015

We are such selfish creatures. Our wishlist never ends, we are never really satisfed.

Saturday, November 14, 2015

Scenes from Fort Kochi - 1

A boy turns his bicycle near the cobblestoned pavement in front of the police station. His face lit up when the cycle and he started to rattle when he pedalled on the cobblestones.

Friday, November 13, 2015

Yes, I am writing regularly these days, as I need an outlet for my thoughts. Guess, I have been doing that since when I started this space, more so, I am being frank here more often these days. As i said before, i need an outlet for my thoughts and i am not a big fan of facebook. I was contemplating of coming out of that space, but i am rarely active there, so i guess it's ok to stay there.

I have begun to miss Bengaluru more often than not. I am keen to shift base back to Bengaluru. Guess bad luck's on me and nothing's happening on that front. There's a desperation that creeps into me at times, which makes me say that i just want an 'ok' job in Bengaluru. At times, the desperation grows into anxiety. I think that i have had enough of being away from home. I want to reach home after I leave office for the day. I wish to roam in Basavanagudi and Jayanagar whenever i want to. I so want that.

Sunday, October 25, 2015

Something happened yesterday and I had to depend on a third person for my safety. I dislike such instances where my vulnerability is evident. The vulnerability arises because I'm a woman. I'm okay being vulnerable, but only to people whom I am comfortable with. Apart from family, there are very few with whom I am vulnerable with, and I'm ok with that. In fact, i feel happy that there are some people concerned about me. But yesterday was certainly not to my liking. Is it so difficult to be a woman? Why can't a woman be looked upon as an individual first, and then a woman. Of course, there are times, when the feminity of a woman comes ahead of the individual, but that's hardly most of the time.

I read a piece by a woman writer today on rape of a girl kid. I also read something on how Srinagar's water bodies are disappearing due to rapid urbanisation. I was annoyed and irritated.

Is it so bloody difficult for us to respect the other sex, is it so bloody difficult for our men to understand that women are more than weaklings than they are made to be. Guess it is so. I use the public transport in Delhi, and i have heard people use the m********d and b*******d word on the road. It is appalling that people of different age groups, all male use the word, maybe, as part of their daily vocabulary. I don't know the equivalent words in Kannada, I have not come across them on the streets of Bangalore. Maybe, I was leading a protected life there, without my knowledge.

Maybe, when I say that I want to be looked upon as an individual first, and them as a woman, I am asking for the sky. I doubt if society is capable of it.

Thursday, October 15, 2015

I was in meeting all day today. Initially it was ok, but as the day worn on, started being restless. Got a notepad and a pencil from a friend and was sketching different people's backs for passing time. As usual the back-portraits that I sketched were bad. When I was learning drawing, as much as I wanted to do good portrait sketches, I couldn't. I don't remember if I did spend considerable time learning it. Guess, I was disappointed at not making headways and began to try out other media like watercolours.

I developed a fondness towards watercolours when I was attending painting classes at a place in Basavanagudi. And started improving my techniques. I wish I can paint watercolours. You might have already read a couple of times here.

Now, coming to what happened at today's meeting. Did a few sketches. Then I went on to show the paintings I have here to a few friends sitting beside me. When I was doing this, people sitting behind me also had a peek on my phone.

What I am will say further is completely on another topic. I was reading something on the the Indian President's current visit to Israel and Palestine. And i also tried to read on Syria. But the cellular network inside the room where the meeting was held was so poor, that my plan of catching up on my reading went for a toss.

Would it be very superficial if I said that the kind of life that a person leads is a factor of where he is born and is something over which he has no control over? Actually, when one ponders on it, a human being is born who develops an identity and a character as she/ grows into a person. People have no control over their birth, as it is humans that are born and not people.