Sunday, February 25, 2007

with moist eyes....

That night, B was alone for the first time. She had to spend the night wihout the comfort of her mother's presence. As usual, B was roaming between my house and aunt's house.

Aunt's and our family stay in the same house, with a narrow strip of verandah separating, the two households. Thus, B flits between the two with utmost ease. She has been doing this since her birth. Before she learnt to walk, M, mother, and me carried her into my house.

Aunt was feeling sleepy and putting B to sleep was her job. Now B is a very stubborn kid. She is most active during the night, with father adding impetus. Even with sleep in her eyes, she simply refuses to sleep. That night at about 11 in the night, aunt tried her level-best. Realising that her mother(R) was absent, B searched for her everywhere. Visited every nook and corner of both the houses. B started wimpering, which yielded to hot tears running down those tender cheeks. M other went to help aunt, but was not successful. All of us were standing in the verandah. B refused to go near anyone. I put out my arms, and she willingly came to me. I sang her lullabys', spoke to her in hushed tones which soothed her, to some extent.

I thought that i had almost reached my goal, but she began to sob again. I went through the length of the verandah, pretending that we were on the look-out for R. Tired, and feeling utterly lost, B slept, while the sobbing ceased. My shoulder was wet with her salty tears. I continued with my lulling notes.

IAunt took her from my arms. Aunt went inside, lay her on the bed. Reaching my room, i let tears flow. Trying to hide my emotions before B, mother and aunt was a mammothical task. Tears which connected me to B. Those tears of anguish, despondence, made me weak.

Mother saw me and she related her experience, when she cried when M and i felt pangs of distress.

I lay on the bed, with tears wetting my pillowcase. I slept in peace.

This particular incident will remain fresh in my memory for all time to come. A moment in time when i gave B all i could give her, love and affection.

My eyes are moist. Moist with tears, of fulfillment.

11 comments:

Srik said...

Very emotional account!!

Cheer up, you did a gr8 job.

VENU VINOD said...

uff,
pacifying kids requires tremendous amount of patiencde, which is not my cup of tea:)
good write up mouna.

Prashanth M said...

very emotional!!

Couple of weeks back, my niece was wide awake and all attempts by my sister to make her sleep wen in vain. My sister was tired and I took charge. Within 20 minutes she slept on my shoulders - even my shoulder was wet, not coz of tears, but of saliva :p

mouna said...

srik,
:)

venu,
i don't have much patience myself sometime back, but seeing a kid grow, i've accomodated it in me.

prashanth,
how i miss those days! the job of putting a child to sleep is wonderful.

Pegasus said...

it is sometimes tough to handle infants

mouna said...

pegasus,
yes, it is. but one learns a lot while doing so.

Anonymous said...

very beautiful piece of article....very senti...but theres so much to know from a child..and their natural behaviour..we too hav undergone the same but looking at a loved one in pain...we elders learn a lot...great job....its a lovely write up....i enjoyed it

mouna said...

anon,
it's terrible to look at a loved one in pain, especially with regard to children. they simply don't understand...

Shiv said...

Mouna,

Poor kid :(
U did a good job Mouna..

Pegasus said...

did u learn how to change diapers yet?

mouna said...

shiv,
poor kid, yes, the distress was unbearable.

pegasus,
yes, i do know :)