Sunday, August 31, 2008

sheer bigotry

I've always wanted to be different. Something that distinguishes me from the rest of the crowd. Call it being adament if you want. In addition, i've wanted to do what i thought was correct. Absolutely irrespective of what others thought of me. The consequences, at times have been disastrous.

I don't know whther these two nuances can still be attributed to me. Or, it's possible that i've shed them. At the same time, these are ingrained in me, i guess. Be it my scorn for gold and it's products, or that i maintain a short length of hair perhaps, because many tend long tresses. I'm neither bothered nor worried.

As result i expect things to proceed in that way which i suppose. Especially of those which i passionately care about. On the personal level, i refuse to deny or even try to justify my actions, though it lacks substance. Academically, that immediate decision that i made while enrolling for B.Sc. was good. And the conscious effort to go to Mysuru for post-graduate studies is very well appreciated.

I want those days, which lie ahead of me, to satisfy me. I want it simply because i desire it. M gave me a piece of her mind, as i couldn't see the overall picture. I see only that portion that i wish to. This is certainly not pragmatic, or even logical to say the least.

Bigotry, i know. But, i covet it. Hard work, yes, how much of it? I really don't know. The outcome, yes, again because i believe in it. What if it does not happen, my life is doomed, for sure.

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