Friday, June 08, 2007

Father came up with this theory. Well, it's not that he projected this theory. Apparently, he has read about this somewhere.

This is what the theory says(according to father):

Every woman/man loses people as he proceeds in life. People as in relationships, be it with family, friends....... And in the end, he is left with very few whom he can trust, or nobody, perhaps. It's something to that effect.

He also cited an example: a girl is to leave her father's place for her husband's house.(According to me, this is one of the most stupidest, senseless, flimsy, baseless idea that anybody can come up with). He gives this illustration, even when M and me have battered him with never-ending arguments. Anyways, he'll have to agree with us one day. Now, that's something else.

Coming back to the actual theory, mother and me disagreed. Instantly. Thus ensued a debate on it.

This is what mother had to say: one does meet wayfarers in the journey of life. One'll probably break ties with them. But some people do exist who'll provide us with love and affection all through the way. It is these relationships that matter in substance, that'll effect us.

Her view sounds pretty approachable.

Here's my view: We lose out on people maybe, and on their bond that link both of us. At the same time, we also gain. On something that'll provide us affection. Most of the times, it occurs without our knowledge. We realise it's worth on spending some time on the same.

At the same time, there are a core group(mother's opinion). To support and encourage me at all times. Even if i assumed that the aforementioned theory did make sense: losing associations and all that. I would consider the fact that i make new alliances at the same time. The fact that i bond more closely with people surrounding me. Possibly, that's how i came to rely on my friends..... maybe my attachment to B also portrays something similar.

The theory sounds heartless.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

guess your against your dad's theory...(it being stupid and base less)...but as far as i know....your dad must be knowing and seen life better than we youngsters...but at the same time when we talk about the eg...i completely disagree the fact that as girls change homes will forget their loved ones...and parents loosing and all that..come on..times have changed..not having the daughter is one side...on the other girl carrying her current relation and building new ones ...i do agree..not being around daily is a matter..but i would support the fact that...continuing the relation with love affection and support...be it anywhere is what balances the emptiness...i agree with your mother's argument...

December Stud said...

The original argument is obviously flawed, in my opnion, may not be as obvious to your father.

Taking his example, let's for a second assume a girl leaves her parents' home and 'loses' them (whatever that means). She does gain a whole set of new relationships and there is a a balance again.

We certainly lose peopel as we grow. At the same rate, we keep gaining people too. So, there is a balance all the time.

kalyan said...

I believe as you progress in life, when you lose some people, you gain some also and that makes our life journey more interesting.
I can share something on the marriage, in the north-eastern states leaving Assam & Tripura, it is generally the custom of the boy moving to the girls house for & after marriage and dowry is also paid by the boy's family to the girls, quite different from the rest of India.

Srik said...

I second DS in this argument, we keep building new relationships, and sometimes carry the old ones as well...

A girl leaving for the boy's house doesnt mean that she will lose the connection totally.

Kalyan, thats a real interesting story. dowry to be given by the boy, and what happens after that...? Cylindar blast will kill the boy, huh ;) ???

mouna said...

all,
i guess my illustration of a girl going to her husband's place is a very very bad one. i should have talked about something else. it gave way to my ranting than serving the purpose :(

it's not apt. anyways, it's kind-of late to change it..

anon,
i agree, my father has seen more of life than i have. but a person accepting this concept, does not sound pleasant.

ds,
yes, definately.
u think there's more to this..hmm... i don't think so.

kalyan,
thanks! i have read about that particular practise in the north-east. hmmm.. this practise also happens in assam, near the kamakhya temple, i think so...

srik,
the 'old ones' compise our near and dear ones. something that'll stay through-out our life.

btw, are u plotting a story? ;)

what kalyan says is true. a girl can't marry unless she is young and pretty, she should'nt be a widow. the boy is paying the dowry, she should well worth it...

with respect to the custom, it's sad; a girl's father undergoes a lot to get her daughter married.

Kalyan said...

In Assam, its not a regular practice as it these kind of marriages are mainly practised by the tribals living in the hills. In Assam also the marriage practice is quite interesting. You can read it by following this link- http://kalyansworld.blogspot.com/2006/11/marriages-musically-arranged.html

@ srik
Actually what happens in these states is that, the women actually are the bread-earners for the home & the men indulge in drinking and gambling all through out the day. So you can well understand, who is making the merry & its not cylindar blast for sure!

mouna said...

kalyan,
thanks for the info! :)

neela said...

As we journey through life,we 'meet and part'....
we make strong bonds with some..even if we 'lose' them we are changed because we met them.
meeting more people on the way may not be a way of balancing...we can't weigh people and balance our interactions.

mouna said...

neela,
weighing people, balancing our interactions; perhaps not. as one person/bond cannot really replace another... but we still can seek the same kind of affection in others?

hmmm.... what say?

neela said...

Don't you think the interactions are unique..
We do benefit from all interactions though.

mouna said...

neela,
all interactions appear unique, and perhaps, they are, because they are associated with different people. though the interactions are of the same kind, they are unique.

i think i get the hang of what u are trying to say. it's nice that we get to interact with many people, but the 'balancing' act seems pleasant(utopia)