I was in a nearby park in the evening today where I interacted with a school-going boy who was there with a friend. The boy with whom I was talking was talking a little gibberish and then I missed Mysore.


My friends also spoke gibberish and do so even to this day. And now, when I am in the north and my friends down south, I miss such talk, although it does not make much sense. Its just a couple of people yapping away. It makes you feel glad.


I miss writing. The last weekend, I was at the Sangeet Natak Akademi and listened to some beautiful music on the shehnai. It was soothing. Also saw a nice Kannada play. There was a festival going on where they had invited artists from across the country.

So, the last post was indeed the last one for the last year. Wanted to write something else before the year ended.


As I mentioned, I saw the movie - Lakshmi. It was the first such movie without tearing up, some scenes are pretty poignant. Maybe I saw it alone, that's why. Maybe, I can watch such movies without getting agitated or emotional. I want to be emotionally strong when a situation requires it. That said I don't want be harsh either.

Hope this year brings new and nice things to you all!!

Maybe this is the last post for this year. I have been wanting to say something here for the past few days, but today, I guess is a day. Random thoughts.

Its been four years since S passed on. There are times when I remember him multiple times in a day, guess that's how the mind works. There are times when I am so much into my routine, that I don't remember him at all. I guess, that's how its going to be. Maybe my thoughts on him will get less frequent, as I interact with other people. Guess, that's how things are in our lives.

Saw Lakshmi today. Its a movie on women trafficking and prostitution. The story is, maybe repeated a few times, but some scenes are very good, those might be dramatic which go to a further extent. The movie also has songs, which frankly were not necessary in the plot. That said, my judgement of movies is not exactly good, so, on seeing it, you might find it dramatic.

I think that all my posts since the last few years should be labelled 'random'. As most are indeed random stuff.

As i have cupped my left palm on my nose, I can smell the mild fragrance of the soap that I use to wash my hand. To breathe in the fragrance again, I bring my palm close to my nose repeatedly, until the mild fragrance is worn out. As I am keying the words in, I have titled my head a little to the right, and my loose hair touches my cheek.

It is winter and Delhi is getting cold. But, it is also the time when the sun is not scorching and you go around in Delhi.

Scenes from Fort Kochi - 1


A boy turns his bicycle near the cobblestoned pavement in front of the police station. His face lit up when the cycle and he started to rattle when he pedalled on the cobblestones.

Something happened yesterday and I had to depend on a third person for my safety. I dislike such instances where my vulnerability is evident. The vulnerability arises because I'm a woman. I'm okay being vulnerable, but only to people whom I am comfortable with. Apart from family, there are very few with whom I am vulnerable with, and I'm ok with that. In fact, i feel happy that there are some people concerned about me. But yesterday was certainly not to my liking. Is it so difficult to be a woman? Why can't a woman be looked upon as an individual first, and then a woman. Of course, there are times, when the feminity of a woman comes ahead of the individual, but that's hardly most of the time.

I read a piece by a woman writer today on rape of a girl kid. I also read something on how Srinagar's water bodies are disappearing due to rapid urbanisation. I was annoyed and irritated.


Is it so bloody difficult for us to respect the other sex, is it so bloody difficult for our men to understand that women are more than weaklings than they are made to be. Guess it is so. I use the public transport in Delhi, and i have heard people use the m********d and b*******d word on the road. It is appalling that people of different age groups, all male use the word, maybe, as part of their daily vocabulary. I don't know the equivalent words in Kannada, I have not come across them on the streets of Bangalore. Maybe, I was leading a protected life there, without my knowledge.


Maybe, when I say that I want to be looked upon as an individual first, and them as a woman, I am asking for the sky. I doubt if society is capable of it.

I was in meeting all day today. Initially it was ok, but as the day worn on, started being restless. Got a notepad and a pencil from a friend and was sketching different people's backs for passing time. As usual the back-portraits that I sketched were bad. When I was learning drawing, as much as I wanted to do good portrait sketches, I couldn't. I don't remember if I did spend considerable time learning it. Guess, I was disappointed at not making headways and began to try out other media like watercolours.


I developed a fondness towards watercolours when I was attending painting classes at a place in Basavanagudi. And started improving my techniques. I wish I can paint watercolours. You might have already read a couple of times here.


Now, coming to what happened at today's meeting. Did a few sketches. Then I went on to show the paintings I have here to a few friends sitting beside me. When I was doing this, people sitting behind me also had a peek on my phone.


What I am will say further is completely on another topic. I was reading something on the the Indian President's current visit to Israel and Palestine. And i also tried to read on Syria. But the cellular network inside the room where the meeting was held was so poor, that my plan of catching up on my reading went for a toss.


Would it be very superficial if I said that the kind of life that a person leads is a factor of where he is born and is something over which he has no control over? Actually, when one ponders on it, a human being is born who develops an identity and a character as she/ grows into a person. People have no control over their birth, as it is humans that are born and not people.

on what I have been doing

Yes I am writing less these days. I totally forget about my blog for weeks together. And then one day, it occurs to me that I have a blog, and then i think of looking it up. Since the past few weeks, I have been thinking of looking my blog up, and today it was.

I have been reading more. I read more current affairs since more than a year now. I am also trying to understand economics. When I want to read I try to look for unbiased media which i think are very few. I avoid CNN and the US media which screams bias even through their headlines. I would say that the British media is better.

A week ago, I read on the farmer suicides in Karnataka. My eyes welled after reading a particular piece. After a couple of days, I was talking about caste-based reservations at work. The backdrop was the Patel community agitation in Gujarat. And the person with whom I was talking to was surprised when I said I support caste-based reservations and it has to be moderated in the light of misuse. I am of the view, that the forward classes of the society who do not have sufficient economic means should have some sort of reservations where the system can help them. The same day somebody posted a tired joke of how easy exam questions are for the reserved classes when compared to the general. I flared up a little and expressed my displeasure on the biased joke.


Having said all this, when we have an equal society where my education and my job prospects are at stake, in all probabilities, I will turn a hypocrite.

Yes, it's been about 2 months that i've written here. I was thinking about closing my blog, shutting it down as i don't post often. But on second thought, i think it's ok to post rarely, assuming that somebody reads it. And i wouldn't want to delete something that's been there for more than 6 years or so.

I have been thinking about this. I think live-in relationships are totally fine. The basic necessity of a marriage is companionship and the blind trust that the spouse will remain faithful that a marriage 'calls for'. It's the same blind trust that works in a live-in relationship too. A marriage simply 'authenticates' a live-in relationship which is not really necessary. But, is the authentication required when we have a society which is rigid. And as i like to put, a society is 'not exactly essential' and 'am not bothered by it'.

When i call the society around me 'not exactly essential', then another question poses itself before me. Having human societies for centuries and centuries, it's always been there. I guess, one of the factors aiding the evolution of mankind has been establishing societies. I recollect having read about it during school and it makes sense to me now as well. Hence, i can't really say that the society around me is 'not exactly essential'.

I'm not sure if there is a line that i can draw between the society and me, and if at all there is any possibility at all. Moreover, when an elderly lady in the neighborhood asks about me when she hasn't seen me around, i don't think i can at all. It's just varied opinions.

One song which i particularly like is Panchtund Narrundamaldhar from the Marathi movie Balgandharva. In fact all the songs from this movie are good, but i particularly like this one. The music, chorus and the solo bits are fabulous. In fact i think the movie can be described as a musical and describes his life focusing more on music that was perhaps his life. The actor who's played the character of Balgandharva does a pretty good job at it. It's not altogether a 'happy' watch meaning the movie is not all about nice incidents all the way through. It's worth a watch and the movie ends with you reminiscing about it.

It's definitely a treat for all traditional music lovers.