I am in the mode of re-discovering and discovering Bangalore. And has it been lovely!!

I mention discovering coz, the roads where I frequented earlier, like years ago, have changed and drastically too. Last week, I visited an outlet of K C Das, wanted to drink some tea there. Surprisingly, the outlet was empty when I walked in, which surprised me. That place used to buzz with life when I used to visit it regularly.

Yes, the tea was good, one of the best places to have tea, and snacks in that area. We used to eat their samosas and vegetable cutlets and sweets of course occasionally when growing up. One thing about the shop (it's simple), is it showcases some art, pretty much all the time when I've gone there. Maybe, that's another reason for me to like K C Das, it has come culture to it, you know.

Coming back to this visit, I decided to pick some sweets to take back home. When trying to choose, during the conversation between the person who was to pack for me and myself, that guy said that he recollects me visiting the shop years ago with my father.

I am skeptic about what the person told me, I mean how will anybody remember! But that was a surprise!

Now that I'm in Bangalore, and I have easy access to books, I have begun to read again. Back in Delhi, I had access to books too, and I did buy quite a few, but read a little.

In Bangalore too, I have to distribute my time between different activities. But this week, I somehow managed to dedicate about half hour everyday to reading, apart from reading the everyday news/current affairs.

When others ask me if i pursue any of my activities, i say no. Then i proceed to give a list of reasons why i do not follow them and sound very silly in the meantime.

Wish i could read or paint again!!

I think that all my posts since the last few years should be labelled 'random'. As most are indeed random stuff.

As i have cupped my left palm on my nose, I can smell the mild fragrance of the soap that I use to wash my hand. To breathe in the fragrance again, I bring my palm close to my nose repeatedly, until the mild fragrance is worn out. As I am keying the words in, I have titled my head a little to the right, and my loose hair touches my cheek.

It is winter and Delhi is getting cold. But, it is also the time when the sun is not scorching and you go around in Delhi.

Something happened yesterday and I had to depend on a third person for my safety. I dislike such instances where my vulnerability is evident. The vulnerability arises because I'm a woman. I'm okay being vulnerable, but only to people whom I am comfortable with. Apart from family, there are very few with whom I am vulnerable with, and I'm ok with that. In fact, i feel happy that there are some people concerned about me. But yesterday was certainly not to my liking. Is it so difficult to be a woman? Why can't a woman be looked upon as an individual first, and then a woman. Of course, there are times, when the feminity of a woman comes ahead of the individual, but that's hardly most of the time.

I read a piece by a woman writer today on rape of a girl kid. I also read something on how Srinagar's water bodies are disappearing due to rapid urbanisation. I was annoyed and irritated.


Is it so bloody difficult for us to respect the other sex, is it so bloody difficult for our men to understand that women are more than weaklings than they are made to be. Guess it is so. I use the public transport in Delhi, and i have heard people use the m********d and b*******d word on the road. It is appalling that people of different age groups, all male use the word, maybe, as part of their daily vocabulary. I don't know the equivalent words in Kannada, I have not come across them on the streets of Bangalore. Maybe, I was leading a protected life there, without my knowledge.


Maybe, when I say that I want to be looked upon as an individual first, and them as a woman, I am asking for the sky. I doubt if society is capable of it.

on what I have been doing

Yes I am writing less these days. I totally forget about my blog for weeks together. And then one day, it occurs to me that I have a blog, and then i think of looking it up. Since the past few weeks, I have been thinking of looking my blog up, and today it was.

I have been reading more. I read more current affairs since more than a year now. I am also trying to understand economics. When I want to read I try to look for unbiased media which i think are very few. I avoid CNN and the US media which screams bias even through their headlines. I would say that the British media is better.

A week ago, I read on the farmer suicides in Karnataka. My eyes welled after reading a particular piece. After a couple of days, I was talking about caste-based reservations at work. The backdrop was the Patel community agitation in Gujarat. And the person with whom I was talking to was surprised when I said I support caste-based reservations and it has to be moderated in the light of misuse. I am of the view, that the forward classes of the society who do not have sufficient economic means should have some sort of reservations where the system can help them. The same day somebody posted a tired joke of how easy exam questions are for the reserved classes when compared to the general. I flared up a little and expressed my displeasure on the biased joke.


Having said all this, when we have an equal society where my education and my job prospects are at stake, in all probabilities, I will turn a hypocrite.

Yes, it's been about 2 months that i've written here. I was thinking about closing my blog, shutting it down as i don't post often. But on second thought, i think it's ok to post rarely, assuming that somebody reads it. And i wouldn't want to delete something that's been there for more than 6 years or so.

I have been thinking about this. I think live-in relationships are totally fine. The basic necessity of a marriage is companionship and the blind trust that the spouse will remain faithful that a marriage 'calls for'. It's the same blind trust that works in a live-in relationship too. A marriage simply 'authenticates' a live-in relationship which is not really necessary. But, is the authentication required when we have a society which is rigid. And as i like to put, a society is 'not exactly essential' and 'am not bothered by it'.

When i call the society around me 'not exactly essential', then another question poses itself before me. Having human societies for centuries and centuries, it's always been there. I guess, one of the factors aiding the evolution of mankind has been establishing societies. I recollect having read about it during school and it makes sense to me now as well. Hence, i can't really say that the society around me is 'not exactly essential'.

I'm not sure if there is a line that i can draw between the society and me, and if at all there is any possibility at all. Moreover, when an elderly lady in the neighborhood asks about me when she hasn't seen me around, i don't think i can at all. It's just varied opinions.

It's been quite some time since i posted here. I was busy at work. And during that i lost my phone. I was just starting to like Delhi but then, losing-the-phone incident make me look at everything in Delhi suspiciously.

I didn't do anything much except work. And since the past couple of weekends, have been getting back to now what weekends actually are. The extreme summer in Delhi didn't help either. It does not even now, with the temperatures outside hovering around 40 degrees. I guess during summer, all i can do is talk about Delhi's heat. Due to which, my exploration of Delhi has come to a complete halt.

It's sad but i haven't seen half of the highlights of Delhi, because of the heat again.

This is so miserable. I was going to write on how nice the weather is outside. I didn't think of writing anything else which does not sound so good. Yesterday when watching tv, i knew that some channels were showing good movies, but i still chose to watch an okish movie that i have seen many timed over. I guess it's the work. You just want some easy entertainment. It should be ok to miss out on a few dialogues, scenes and you still want to follow the story.

That said, i will try writing about some of the scenes i saw in Delhi. Some of which i know sounds, no, you will rather figure out what my opinions are.

There is this road which opens into another perpendicular to the former. Similar to majority of the roads constructed everywhere. I sometimes use this road to go to a nearby market or to buy fruits from one of these handcarts. There is a handcart amongst some others which dot this road. In the evenings, this is generally manned by a boy about ten years old. I address him as 'chotu', after observing that adults generally address young boys by this word.

Though he is just another young boy, i tend to think that this boy is endearing. I walk to him, unknowingly point at bitter gourds, ask him the price of cucumbers. He then corrects me and asks me if i want bitter gourds. I tell him 'No, i want cucumbers, how much is one kg?' He quotes a price and looks at me. The eyes are lined with kohl, a shining face, the shine added by some perspiration and some oil that has seeped in from his shock of dishevelled oiled hair.

I say nothing and i start walking away. He calls behind me 'Didi, come here'. He lowers the price and waits to see if i turn around and head back to the cart and buy it from him. What exuded from him was pure childhood innocence. Maybe, the thought of exchanging a few words with him made me go near his cart, even though i didn't want to buy anything from him. Maybe.

I sit on one of the million terraces in Delhi, bend my head backwards to see planes fly by. Guess the airspace above the area I stay is the route which most flights take when flying in or out of Delhi.

I can hear two-three cars honking. As I type, the number it vehicles just increased. It will continue until the jam there is resolved. People love honking here.

The terrace is surrounded by trees, thankfully. As vehicles drive on the road two storeys down, that part of the road, rather that part of the foliage lights up minimally. 

I am sitting cross-legged on my bed. When the skin between the two calves of my legs between to sweat, i change my position. I don't actually, i give them a few seconds when unfolding and then i cross them again. I am listening to a Kannada song sung by SPB and Chitra, and once again decide that both are fantastic.


Read a mishmash of things in the afternoon today. Will read more tomorrow. And maybe post something sensible.

These days i wouldn't prefer not going to malls to hang out. The food there is expensive, yes, and the malls in Delhi (my observation) are 'uber-materialistic' (maybe this is a little exaggerated, but you do get me, right?). One can see a lot of fancy stuff there, and if you have money to spend and want to buy things, these are the ideal locations. I would go on to say that Delhi being what it is, is aping the West than Bangalore.

That said, malls are sheltered and air-conditioned which is pretty much the reason why i would want to hang-out with my friends there.

Coming back to the Delhi and its association with fancy things - one of the things that i, personally don't appreciate (i really can' figure out the right word to use here) is the fact that people as in women make up their faces even when they stay at home. To have your lips coloured is a very normal thing is Delhi. I have seen women from different social strata (this is only my observation, and is not a generalization) doing it. Still haven't figured out a reason why.

This was something to me. I remember having told my parents that we wear clothes and other things to shield ourselves from the external environment and clothes, shoes, jewellery, body-care all evolved from there.

P.S. I am not a saint. I like to buy things too. I bought silver jewellery last week.
P.P.S. It's been eight years on this blog!

I really wish i had gone out of Delhi during the Holi weekend. Out of Delhi for a holiday. Yes i had fun, i played Holi twice, ate sweets and savories, but i wish i had gone out to some other place.

Delhi is getting hotter (the temperature still is around thirty, but you feel the sunshine and the heat). No, i am not complaining. Since it is hot, i can't go outside during the day, so the only time to go out are the evenings when i can't plan to go anywhere far.

Guess this is how the next few months will be.

It's Friday evening and i am making plans for the weekend. I hope i can catch one/two movies on the television. And yes, i am planning to travel in Delhi, haven't decided on the places. Let's see. I still have a lot of places to visit in Delhi.

I watch Karan Johar's 'Coffee with Karan'. I wouldn't have imagined doing it even last year. But i am doing it. Sometimes, i need to watch totally nonsensical to retain my sanity. This sometimes is more frequent these days.

I still am sane.

The cloudy weather here reminds me of Munich. A friend has come to Bangalore from Germany, while i am in Delhi. I was told by him that i am not even worth being lambasted by him. 

I don't want to do the 'Happy New Year' thing because, it's just another day for me. At the same time i realize it is 1st January, 2014. I wrote a different year on my notepad today, than what i used to write for the last couple of months. That's just another way of measuring time, isn't it?

When people here ask me if this is my first visit to Delhi, i tell, 'No'. Then i go on to say that i was here about fifteen years ago. I don't know how to say this exactly, but the impressions of that visit does not hold true anymore since Delhi's changed much over the last few years. Almost everybody i've talked to here is of that opinion. That said, it's not that i don't remember anything of that visit. I remember the Bahai House, where i first tasted Mountain Dew. I have faint memories of Chandni Chowk and Karol Bagh where we shopped. Coming to think of it, i do recollect more than i assumed i could, which is quite good, as i had thought they had faded into forgotten memories.

Nice.

Delhi is getting colder. You know I really shouldn't be saying this having spent two winters in south Germany. Here the dust and cold both pose a double whammy to me. I still have to get used to the Indian weather. It will take a while I guess. I so don't want to sound squeamish but I think I am doing that. That said, the dust in our cities also used to effect me before my travel to Germany, so maybe I don't sound that squeamish.

It's been quite some time since I have said anything here. I have shifted from Bangalore (or should I say Bengaluru?). I guess that should make another post. Here I am in Delhi making my way around in broken Hindi.