Tuesday, August 27, 2013

I am a little frustrated, i had written an article somewhere else, and when looking at different versions of the same document, deleted it. And now, i have to start all over again.

And my glasses are  a bother, so i removed them now. And when i rub my eyes, my eyesight gets a little blurred. Isn't that the way it always is after one rubs his or her eyes?

Now, i begin to write. Well, i saw Antaheen a few days ago. And it absorbed me again. It made me think. While i was pretending to be intelligent and thoughtful and dwell on man, his thoughts, and the relationships he/she maintains, this occurred to me. If i were to spend our whole lives on thoughts, it would be possible, maybe. After which, i would consider myself rational. Using this word, i describe myself as perceptive and broadminded. Eventually, i conclude that it all comes to nothing. There is some emptiness in between all of this.

When we use our capacity to deliberate on our views, our relationships, our future and what not; to say that i'll loose my freedom when i start thinking about the adjustments we make as a group of people living together, is it worth to contemplate (this much)? You know, too much contemplation is maddening. Or is it required for me to reflect and reason out for me to understand myself better?

With all this understanding and getting-to-know-ourselves-better, my naivete is lost in the process. I can't stop pretending to be smart (the narcissist that i am) .  About all the simplicity and the bliss associated with it, i can so sense the lack of it.

Bloody straight, what is that?

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